Humiliation
"Humiliation is poisonous. It's one of the deepest pains of being human." Pierce Brosnan
We all make mistakes. Sometimes we learn from them and we get better. At times when others point them out to us we may feel humiliated.
What really is the feeling of humiliation? Is it a feeling or a ritual? From my personal experience, it is a ritual instilled by your family, mainly your primary caregivers. When they fuck up instead of owning it and making things right, they find every little opportunity to make you feel shitty.
A memory came back to me recently, the bitter taste of the tears of humiliation. Now I understand that deep pain that was haunting me and the one I was constantly running from.The taste of the tears from getting beaten by your parents because of your adult siblings even though you did nothing, the taste of the tears after your first break up. Yeah that specific taste.
Adults are always right even when they are wrong afterall. Saying sorry or changing is lethal. Right? What is the consequence of humiliation? Distance, , silence, guardedness, ressentment? Defensiveness can be an ensuing coping mecanism. Let's not forget shame. It taught me how to be invisible and silent. I became too good at that it started to be detrimental to my personal growth. The better you are at pointing out unnecessary bullshit, the bigger target for humiliation you become.
JH.