Reclaim your power
We hear this sentence quite often in the spiritual spaces" do not be afraid of reclaiming your power".
Personally, I am aggravatingly exhausted of dealing with the aftermath of individuals gossiping and making presumptions about me and also acting according to those.
It is most highly detrimental not only to my mental health but to my job and my social life. My intentions are constanly misinterpreted and my character misjudged. Better believe me when I say I am no altar girl, I am the dissentient shadow goddess afterall and I own it to my core. But there is most certainly a "reason to my madness".
Sure, you do not want to cross me. That is why people use gossip. They think talking in someone's back will bless them with anonymity and immunity.
Being misunderstood by the people from whom you want love and acceptance as well as community hurts so bad. So now I have decided to reclaim my power and narrative instead of suffering in silence.
In my opinion, there is nothing noble about suffering in silence. We have been pushed this narrative heavily by society as it helps the bully escape accountability.
I constantly feel like I am either loosing myself or people I care about even though I care. I discover stories about myself, I did not even know happened, things I never said. Gossip is a coward's weapon. It is always in the back of the person, never to the face.
What do you think about the following scenario ? When the person who was supposed to love you unconditionnally supposedly because they gave you life is the bearer of gossip on your name, just to escape accountability from the pain and neglect they caused. It hurts like hell. Being rejected by the person who gave you life hurts more than childbirth instead. Trust me on this I know I birthed Chouquette(my cat) and Nala (my dog)(humour).
Everytime I ask for reperations, the answer I get is esssentially "I regret that you exist". Me too. Me too Gothel, I tried correcting it several times but the grim reaper was like " no buddy, not your time yet, you've got work to do for us here".
When I asked that things be mended, I was hit by "tell me which family member, I will tell you what I said" or " it is not my fault that the others do not like you". People do not change their behaviours out of the blue without a plausible explanation.
If I have to ruffle some feathers so what? I feel uncomfortable anyways. Might as well put that discomfort to some use.
Sayonara.